Why is everything so wet? This was the second glass that we put extra sauce into. The chicken marsala was submerged in sauce. The Diavolo sauce was spicy if you're about 93 years old and had three taste buds. Had whole bay leaves left in, and whole cloves of garlic. Seafood was all obviously frozen or canned. Pasta was obviously boxed. "Fresh" focaccia was gummy and weird, the other bread was bland and soft. Only exception was the calamari, which I'd deem "serviceable." How do you pump out a replacement Manicotti in less than five minutes? (hint: it's microwaved)
Food aside, the service was abysmal. From the moment we walked in and let them know when had a reservation, we were frowned upon. We had to ask for menus. Our waitress walked away in the middle of a question. We figured if we were going to be treated like garbage, we might as well have some fun. We were loud, but it was a birthday celebration.
Decor is terrible and dated. How hard is to paint and update your decor? The bathrooms are straight out of your random highway gas station. The whole place is straight out of 1982. We walked in and it felt like we were the only ones under 65. How does this place have 4+ stars?
We had a mandatory 20% gratuity added to our post-tax bill for 7 people. Our total was $300.96 after the mandatory gratuity. We left $300 in cash and the owner came out to call the police on us. I guess when you grat a customer you can treat them like garbage. We had put the cash in the little tray, and a random waitress came over and asked "You ready to pay?" I know you wanted us gone, but you don't do that. She came back out and told us we were $0.96 short. $0.96 short on a mandatory 20% gratuity on a $300 tab. I think we can all agree that $0.96 is pretty easy to not worry about. We let them know that we did not intend to find a $1 bill in our collective wallets, and she left to the kitchen. The owner's mother (I can only assume) came over and asked us what was wrong. Normally, I would have just paid and quietly left. However, my brother spoke up and let her know that the service was abysmal, and the food was bland, watery, and tasted like dogsh*t. The cursing was unnecessary, but was an accurate description of our food. The owner came out at this point, phone in hand, dialing the police. While dialing (over $0.96) I told him that we didn't want the remainder because it was gratuity and we felt the service was awful. Once hearing it was over the gratuity, he hung up the phone and tried to apologize.
Of course, if you were threatened with the police, an apology doesn't go too far. I told him that we were leaving. Another customer started yelling at me at this point, while I'm wheeling my 84-year-old grandmother in her wheelchair out of the restaurant. He proceeded to berate my brother as well, who had some choice words for him.
My mother (who we were celebrating) spoke to the owner after we left. He gave the money back, and told us to go "someplace that we would better enjoy." A waitress walked her out and very condescendingly told us to have a greaaaat night.
We weren't angel customers by any stretch, but the food and service were unacceptable, and the service was abhorrent and unwarranted.
Check back in four hours, I may have food poisoning.